Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Frustration

there are times when I just need to let it out.. a Vent session to be more specific.  I just find life so difficult sometimes.  I have stayed home with my children for the past 17 years, because to me personally it has been the most important thing in my life.  My decision to be a stay at home mom came as easy as breathing in and out.  I never gave it much thought, I knew I wanted to be the only one raising my children.  I knew exactly what I didn't want.  I didn't want kids with other people's values and morals.  If I had children it would be to raise them myself.  Okay and now flash forward to the here and now.  My children are grown, they are extraordinary human beings.  I love them dearly, they love me back.  They have the amazing quality of being good to myself and their father, they do as they are told, they are Free to be themselves.  Now the problem! my eldest daughter is about to graduate high school, and looking into Universities... and as it most commonly is with single income families, we make, well my husband does, but bless his precious heart ~ he has always been the sweetest person ever, he has never made me feel like it's his money.  He has always called it "our" money.  So anyways, he makes a good amount of money, yet we are strapped financially just because of the high cost of living.  So given that information... my problem, our problem is that education is crazy expensive and we can't afford to pay for our children s higher learning.   It's so darn frustrating, to have given so much of myself to my children, have outstanding students.. they are all ... Yes.. all three of my children are straight A students.  And we don't have the money to send them to college.  Oh boy!! I guess you can't have it all in life.  WEll, my kids will have to take out loans and finance their education, because even with all this grief.. I wouldn't trade my being home with them for anything in the world.  I'm proud of my children and I feel responsible for the amazing persons they have become.  Raising them was easy because it was done with LOVE.